What’s the Deal with Introverts and Extroverts

That’s the real question right? What is all the fuss about being and “Introvert” or an “Extrovert” and why start a blog about it??

The E/ I terms were originally coined by the Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist Carl Jung. Jung was best known for his breakthrough and definition of psychology concepts such as the archetype, the collective unconscious, and our favorite personality definitions, extroversion and introversion.

This personality theory described the method by which the individual focuses their attention, and mental regeneration; be it a central focus within the individual’s mind, or the outside world.

Extroverts are said to be energized through interaction – they are more outgoing (both literally and figuratively) and social, and recharge their “batteries” through external stimuli and conversation. Extroverts enjoy social events, parties, concerts etc.

Alternately, the Introverted individual finds serenity through isolation, or limited interaction. Their favorite past times include reading, writing, exploring the great outdoors, fishing, art and other solitary or small grouped activities.

Then in-between the frivolous extrovert and the clandestine introvert falls the Ambivert – who enjoys all aforementioned activities in balance.

So now that we have the background, why do we care?

I have found that understanding these terms is useful in identifying and explaining your specific personality type to your friends and significant others.

Yes it was!

In October 2014, I married my best friend. We had been friends 6 years before dating, and 3 more years before taking the plunge into holy matrimony and as the years pass we continued to get to know eachother better, and better defined the broad differences in our personality needs.

Jon is a talented musican and store owner, and is no stranger to center stage. He is a loquacious business man and a HUGE member of our community. He teaches as well as records, and his clientele ranges from age 3 to age 70. No matter how many hours he’s worked or how many things he is juggling, on any given day Jon is always upbeat and outgoing with an exciting story to tell me (and the best burrito he’s ever ate in his entire life. “Seriously babe. This one was the best!”)

I however am programmed a bit differently. I am a Project Manager at a large Aeronautical Company with over 6 thousand employees in a 20 mile radius. I constantly interact with my teams throughout the day – answering calls, emails, holding meetings, resolving conflict, briefing executives… When I get home, I realized although I was excited to introvert, lethargy be there with Jon, I needed time to decompress and recharge.

These characteristics perfectly reflect an Extrovert and an Introvert.

Magnetism teaches us that opposites attract and such is the way with us. Over the years we’ve realized each of our needs, and the compromise that must be given to keep everyone happy. When I get home Jon knows to give me a few minutes to unwind and decompress, and when I’m ready I come out and listen to how his day was and try to share exciting tidbits from mine (there typically aren’t many, so this continues to be a struggle.)

These personality differences effect us in many categories – As a musician, Jon puts on and participates in many shows, and although my ideal Saturday night involves a nice pair of sweatpants and making out with a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream, I bust out of my comfort zone to be a supportive wife. Every now and then I find myself crying “uncle” and Jon knows that I’ve reached my quota of supportive small talk, and he’ll dawn his best jammies and binge watches some bad TV in the dark for a while.

As unique a couple as we are, Jon and I are not the only individuals engaged in an hybrid personality type marriage. The goal of this blog is to help couples, business people, students and whoever else struggles with their personality type and needs, and maybe needs some pointers or other people’s “lessons learned” on how to communicate with their loved ones – because it’s not always easy explaining why you don’t want to go to a raging party to an Extrovert!